Tears of Love and Sorrow
by Mycha
Summary: Beth was surprised at how much Mick proved to mean to her. Spoilers for 'Fever'.


**Tears of Love and Sorrow**

* * *

"_There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love." – Washington Irving_

"I'm sorry, Beth"

The woman in question barely registered the words Josh said as she turned away from him, trying to gather her wits. When he said they were dead – that _Mick_ was dead – Beth felt her whole world shift. Her chest did that uncomfortable weightless flopping thing that happens during really bad turbulence or when riding one of those free fall theme park rides. She couldn't breathe.

The young blond could feel the tears threatening to fall and knew she had to get out of the DA's office. She heard Josh move to sit behind her on his desk, but he didn't move to try to console her in her pain. The omission irked her, to say the least. She may have only known Mick for a scant few months, but even so, her boyfriend should care that she cared. Shouldn't he?

Beth excused herself, angrily telling Josh that his leak must have come from his department. She knew that some of the venom in her voice was her anger at Josh, but most was her emotion from the loss of her favorite vampire, her best friend.

How she got home, Beth had no idea. Her mind had been running in a million different directions at once and absolutely nowhere at the same time, leaving her with no recollection of the drive at all. She barely got her apartment door shut before the tears started flowing, barely got to the couch before the sobs started. Shaking painful spasms tightened her chest robbing her of air. Sounds, not quite a wail, not quite a moan tore out of her throat. These weren't just the cries or sobs of someone who was merely sad, she knew. They were the guttural, primitive response of loss – a loss so heartfelt, so deep, so painful there weren't words to describe it. All of the cliches - the 'my heart felt like it was ripped out' kind of things – were completely inadequate for the pain she felt.

She had no idea how long her sobs lasted before her need for oxygen forced her to calm herself so she could breathe again, nor how long she lasted before the sobs crashed through her again. During one of her calmer points, the phone rang and habit prevented her from ignoring the disturbance.

"Beth Turner." Her shaking voice carried the wariness she felt from the crying.

The reporter paid little attention to what was said until her mind registered that the person said she was Linnie.

_'Linnie? It couldn't be,'_ her mind protested. _'But if it really is, then maybe Mick was alive too?'_ It seemed too good to be true. Almost immediately, her adrenaline kicked in giving Beth focus and clarity. Grabbing her keys she ran to her car as she listened to the younger woman tell her what she could of where they were.

As she sped towards Victorville, Beth's entire being was buzzing with joy that Mick was alive. The joy was dulled only by the knowledge that Mick was hurting. It wasn't until she was halfway there that she realized that Linnie had been concerned for Mick. He was alive, but something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

_'What could make a vampire cause Linnie to think that he was dying?'_

Beth personally had seen him shot, staked and beaten. She knew Mick would gloss over any injury he received so as not to frighten the girl. So what could it be? That particular realization hit when she held her hand up to shield her eyes from the brightness of the setting sun – the sun itself had to have been the culprit. Linnie had said something about them having walked miles to find the hotel they were at. It took her only seconds to realize the 'cure' would likely be blood. That knowledge in turn had her speeding faster to her destination.

###

After admonishing Linnie to stay in the bedroom, Beth entered the bathroom and shut the door firmly behind her. The view when she turned to find Mick almost brought her to her knees in fear. Her eyes had immediately landed on the PI in the bathtub, completely submerged under water and ice.

Desperation caused her to yank him out of the water with a strength and speed that surprised her. She pled for Mick to answer her, to not be dead. When Mick finally realized where he was he flinched and pulled away, deliriously saying that he had bit Linnie. It took Beth a few moments to bring him back to his senses, at which he became all business. Mick immediately presumed that Beth would take herself and Linnie to safety, and started telling her to take the girl and get out of there, implying that she should leave him.

Taking quick stock of the situation, Beth got up and removed her jacket. Dropping it unceremoniously on the ground, she pulled her shirt away from her neck, attempting to stay calm as she said that she didn't know how to do this, but Mick needed blood. The fear was evident in her voice and her unsteady hands, but she refused to back down. Instinct told her she was insane and that she should grab the woman in the next room and run. Something else kept her in the bathroom, moving toward the starving vamp, insisting he feed. She wasn't going to think about what that something was, she just knew that she refused to lose Mick again.

The vampire initially fought her suggestion, screaming "Not yours! Not like this!" as he tried unsuccessfully to back away from her.

With a few more words from her, Mick's attitude suddenly shifted and became more focused. Looking in her eyes, he purposefully pulled her arm out in front of himself. Looking at Beth's arm, he obviously steeled himself to do something that had to be done before looking back to her to ensure she was ready. With a quick but forceful warning that she would have to stop him, Mick turned back and sank his fangs into her flesh.

Beth trembled all the while, determined that Mick was going to take her blood while simultaneously afraid of the act. She was sure that Mick could sense her fear, but she was resolute that she would not let him back away from this anymore than she allowed herself to back away from her offer.

The actual act of his biting her hurt enough to cause Beth's eyes to water and her mind to panic, but she refused to succumb to her body's instincts. Beth calmed herself by focusing on Mick. She noted that while he held her arm firmly, he wasn't holding her so tightly as to hurt her. The tearing and bloodletting that she feared turned out to be baseless. Mick had bit her solidly but only once, all but a tiny rivulet of blood being consumed by him.

Initially, Beth leaned against the bathtub, relieved that her fears were mostly unfounded. As the intimacy of the act washed over her, she leaned against Mick. The feeling of his feeding from her was blissful, erotic, comforting – so many words came rushing to her mind to describe it and yet they were all inadequate. She nuzzled into his neck, afraid to move her arm but wanting to be so much closer to her vampire. She loved him, she realized as tears of joy slid down her cheek. He may not love her back, but she realized that she would give him every drop of blood she had if he needed it.

"Mick? Mick, you need to stop," Beth finally whispered, feeling light headed but reluctant to have the contact broken. She was afraid she was going to have to be more forceful when he didn't release her, then she felt him kiss her where he bit her. When he loosened his hold on her arm, she snaked it up until her hand rested on his shoulder, never moving her head from where it was buried in the crook of his neck.

Mick's hand went to her back between her shoulder blades and pulled her to him briefly.

"Can you stand?" he whispered hoarsely. At her slight nod, he continued. "Ok, then. We need to get you cleaned up."

Dazedly, Beth nodded but didn't move. Mick chuckled and after switching his hold on her, stood up, pulling her with him. As he disentangled himself from her, Beth noticed his lopsided grin and a look in his eyes that made her wonder if he knew what she had been thinking.

"Come on, Beth. We need to clean these up so they stop bleeding sooner." He turned on the water at the sink as he spoke, rubbing the water up and down her arm. Beth frowned thinking it was as if he were trying to wash away his kiss.

"Why?"

Mick chuckled. "Even in a daze, you still ask questions." Beth looked at him and smiled, silently prodding him to answer. "It's because there's something in our saliva that prevents your blood from clotting." Grabbing a towel, he wrapped it around her arm and placed her hand on the wound. "Keep the pressure on it."

Mick pointed her towards the door, telling her he'd be out in a moment. Beth hesitated, not wanting to leave his side but knowing it was time to go.

###

The ride back to LA had been quiet. Mick drove now that he felt better, though Beth had been able to feel him continuously glance in her direction. She was lightheaded and felt slightly worse than she did after donating blood to the Red Cross. She supposed Mick had taken more than she normally gave, but she couldn't really bring herself to be worried by it. She could blame it on a cold, or maybe just over exertion, if she still felt bad in the morning. Still, she was glad that Mick felt well enough to drive. Beth didn't know if Linnie even knew how to, but she knew that she sure hadn't up to it.

Their parting had been awkward. Mick had driven her home after they had dropped off Linnie with Josh. He had walked her to her door, but neither of them spoke and he had barely been able to look at her. She could practically feel the guilt radiating off of him.

Now, as she finally lay in bed, slowly processing the day's events, she could feel herself smile as she thought of Mick. Strangely, she had realized at some point that she could almost feel his presence with her, feel his emotions from the time they left the motel up until even now though he wasn't anywhere nearby. Silently, a lone tear slid out of the corner of her eye. Her vampire was safe, for now. She got to play the guardian angel to him for once. And Mick was alive. It was enough to make her sing for joy if she wasn't so tired.

**11 Nov 2010**


End file.
